Grandma

My grandma passed away on Thursday evening of Ovarian Cancer. I wept tears of thanks that she had left us as things had gotten to the point where her life on earth was no longer enjoyable or comfortable for her. But I also cried. A lot. Selfish tears. Because I still wanted her here. For me. For my girls.

I didn't tell the girls that their Grandma Oh-Oh had passed away until Saturday morning. It wasn't pleasant. They cried. A lot. I was not surprised by Taylor's tears- I knew she would be upset and she was. She was devastated that she hadn't gotten to give her one last goodbye. One last hug. Trying to explain to a 7 year old that you were protecting her from something that I knew she would remember (not in a good way)for the rest of her life is almost impossible. Her love for Grandma was undeniable. Our sweet, sensitive girl already misses her. All day she would drop random comments like: "I'm going to make someone a pretend chair. I would make one for Grandma Oh- Oh, but she's dead now" or, "Where is she being buried at?"

and "Well, if she isn't being buried, where is her body?". We will continue to talk with her, shower her with even more love than usual. I was much more surprised by Maddie's tears. She is our girl who lets just about everything roll off her back. But today, she stopped, thought and cried. Real tears. She listened as I talked and after about 5 minutes, I saw my Maddie girl in true form- "Mom, could you un pause the T.V. now?" Bless her!

It's been a long week for all of us and so I suggested to Dave that maybe we should hop in the motor home and head for the ocean for the day. When we mentioned it to the girls they were thrilled by the idea of getting out of town. It was really just what we all needed. Here's what I thought about and realized while we were there today.....

We are strong. United. Courageous.

We have a good thing going here. That even in tough times, we have one another to lean on, to laugh with.

That a smile can go a long way in melting a mama's heart and making it feel that much better.

That no matter where I am in my life I've always got this guy. My rock. My love. My support.

That in any kind of situation- from a wedding, a 100% on a spelling test, a lost tooth, to a loved one lost, these 2 can make everything better- I take that back, they can make everything great!

Grandma, I love you. You will always be in my heart.